Fort Cochin: A feast for the eyes

Our journey to Fort Cochin wasn't exactly the smoothest experience. We got on an uncomfortable government bus at Kumily and the five-hour journey ended up being eight - six of which were without a toilet break. By the end I was about ready to have a breakdown.

When we finally arrived in Cochin, it was too late to get the ferry over to Fort Cochin (it's an island off the main city) so we had to get on another incredibly crowded bus and Luke's sunglasses were stolen. An epic fail all round really.

Thankfully the stressful journey turned out to be worth it - we loved pretty Indo-Portuguese Fort Cochin. It's best known for the huge Chinese fishing nets which line the shore and, although these are interesting, there's more to it than fishing nets.

Chinese fishing nets in Fort Cochin.

The roads were quite quiet (at least as quiet as they get in India) so we hired bicycles to get around and see the sights. Fort Cochin seems to be the place for honeymooning Indian couples go and get their "newlywed photoshoot" done which largely consist of them looking wistfully out to sea or strolling along the promenade hand in hand.

As we were cycling around, we bumped into a unnecessarily large entourage of around six people who were photographing and stage managing one couple. When they saw us on our bikes they asked if we'd mind being in it - thus the photo of us with the couple perched on our bikes which I think is fabulous. I also love the fact that in the original photo the new groom has got his head towards me and not his new wife - he had to be instructed to move closer to her!!

Happy newlyweds photo - the original...

...and after he was told "and now look like you're actually WITH your wife!"

Cycling in the heat was hard work but luckily Fort Cochin has lots of unique little European-style cafes where they serve proper tea and coffee. After eight weeks of bad tea, this was a big relief.

Luke enjoying a proper pot of tea in the teapot cafe in Fort Cochin.

Another thing I loved about this little town was the art scene.As a nation Indians are very artistic, but before Fort Cochin we hadn't come across anywhere with a "scene" as such. A lot of the cafes have local art work on the walls as well as exhibitions, but there's also just lots of interesting things to see as you wander down the streets - graffiti, posters, installations - art seems to be everywhere.

While in Fort Cochin, I also nearly made my own artistic debut in an Indian film. One evening Luke and I were strolling down the street when we were approached by a young man who asked if I wanted to be in a film they were making. I thought he was some kind of conman but he showed us a business hard and appeared to be legit so, after some arm twisting from him and Luke, I agreed to it.

The young man picked us up at 8.30am and took us to a studio where they'd set up a meth lab. Anyway the director, Ashiq Abu, came over to explain my role and it went a little bit like this:

"So, the villain, he's a psychopath and a crazy man and a drug dealer. When he likes to have a good time he goes out and finds a girl and he likes to slap her about a bit and he likes to strangle her. What you would need to do is look like you're friendly with him and then he'll pretend to hit and you then pretend to die. Does that all sound OK? Good."

And off he went. Speaking to young guy I also found out that the film, called Gangster, is a relatively big deal and stars Mammootty, a really popular Malayalam language actor in Kerala. I felt quite overwhelmed but relatively up for it  - you only live once and all that - and then they said the scene wasn't being shot until later that day and I could go off and they'd pick me up later. And that was their mistake - they gave me too much time to think about it.

The start of Gangster, Mammootty. I know, he's a hunk, right?

First of all, I started questioning why it had to be a Western woman that was "picked up" and killed - why not an Indian woman? Every time I've seen an Indian film, the Western women are always promiscuous while the Indian women are a bit flirty but generally virtuous, and that really annoys me. I also didn't like the idea of being slapped about by some middle aged man for kicks, I thought it could be awkward and a bit weird - and would they be putting me in something tarty and revealing? Probably.

But I'd promised I'd do it and I like to keep my promises. So we dutifully waited in our guest house until 2pm for my pick up. And then we got a call saying it would be 3pm. Then a bit later we got another call saying it would be more like 4.30pm. In the end the disorganisation of the film crew made my mind up for me - I'd waited around all day and I wasn't going to wait anymore, so I said thanks but no thanks. I felt so relieved once I'd turned them down that I knew I'd done the right thing.

Still, if anyone finds themselves in India in about four months time and goes to see a Malayalam movie called Gangster - look out for the Western girl in the meth lab scene and tell me how she does!

To top off our fabulous stay in Fort Cochin, we got a 4rps (so that's 4 pence) ferry over to Cochin in order to catch the train and saw two dolphins playing in the sea - dolphin spotting for 4p, I'll take that.

I'll leave you with some of the best images we got of artistic Fort Cochin...

USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT FORT COCHIN:

Accommodation: We stayed at Rokoco Residency which is a relatively new and very cosy guest house run by  a French woman and her Indian husband. I would highly recommend this place. We paid 800rps a night.
Eating and drinking: Our favourite cafes were Teapot,on Peter Celli Street and Kashi Art Cafe in Burgher Street. If you find yourself in the Jewish Town then nearby Springr is also great - and they have a lot of live music at night. It's worth noting that alcohol is hard to come by in Fort Cochin, in fact we didn't drink anything in our whole time there.
Getting there and away: Don't do as we did and get a bus from Kumily that goes around the houses - ask at the bus station for a DIRECT one (then ask the driver and possibly all of the passengers and anyone who'll listen until you're satisfied that it's the truth!) and it should take approx five hours and cost approx 100rps.
We left Fort Kochin to go to Gokarna in Karnataka - there are direct night trains on a Sunday and Monday but not on other nights. Approx 400rps for sleeper class.