Trekking in Periyar Wildlife Park, near Kumily

After two days of doing nothing on the houseboat, it was time to get active and head into the mountains of Kerala for the trekking and cooler climate. Unfortunately, in order to get there we had to spend over five hours squashed into a government bus. I’m beginning to realise these journeys are essential in order to experience “real” India – but it doesn’t mean I have to like them. At least this time we were rewarded with views of tea plantations so green, they almost don’t look real.

View of tea plantations from the bus on the way up to Kumily.

It’s expensive to stay in Periyar Wildlife Park itself, so we stayed in the nearby town of Kumily which is just five minutes’ walk from the park gate. We found a great guest house called Green View which is run by Suresh, possibly the hardest working man in hospitality. One distinct memory I have is of when a massive family of South Africans of Indian origin arrived and one of them said to Suresh: “Right, we’ll check in and then you’ll show my aunties where to get a massage and you’ll take me to the Fedex place and then you’ll show us somewhere good to have dinner.” All said without one please or thank you, poor Suresh.

On our first day we booked into a nine-hour guided trek of the park which goes to where Kerala borders with Tamil Nadu. After over a month of no proper exercise, this sounded like the kind of thing we needed to kick us back into shape.

In Periyar it seemed like everyone else was properly equipped for trekking – all of these dreadlocked backpackers miraculously pulled out walking boots and practical clothes from their backpacks that were smaller than ours. We had to cobble together “trekking” outfits from what we had. The results were made even more attractive by the fact that we had to tuck our trousers into our socks to ward off leeches. The result was quite something, I’m sure you’ll agree...

Me and Luke in our "trekking" outfits.

A close up of Luke's sock in shoes combo.

That first photo was taken at 1,000 feet after we’d managed to scramble our way up quite a steep surface with lots of tree roots and plants in the way, ready to trip us up.

Our two guides, although they had limited English, were really knowledgeable and pointed out lots of interesting plants such as ginger, cardamom, cinnamon and clove which were all growing naturally in the jungle. Some of the herbs and spices have such expensive market prices that they have to have guards at night to make sure they don’t get cut down and stolen.

Our trek guides looking over into Tamil Nadu.

Animals we saw include a mongoose; lots of different deer, including some impressive stags; black monkeys, which we hadn’t seen before and most impressively a couple of giant squirrels playing in the trees – they really are giant compared to the squirrels we know.

I encountered some wildlife very close up in the form of a leech which I found sucking on my foot – so much for the jeans tucked into the socks combo to ward them off!

We also saw lots of bear and elephant poo but sadly none of the culprits. There must be a real threat of bumping into them though, as we were joined by a guide with a gun for part of the trek. They also say that tigers live in Periyar but I’m not convinced – I suspect the number of tigers living wild here is, like many things in India, exaggerated to suit their own gains.

Luke examines the antlers of a stag apparently killed by a tiger.

The next day we visited nearby tea plantations which are beautifully organised up the mountain side. The tuk-tuk driver turned guide and explained to us that the workers are treated very well – they get paid well, live in houses on the plantations, get healthcare and the children get schooled. It doesn’t stop it being back-breaking work though.

View from withing the tea plantation at Kumily.

On our third day in Kumily Luke felt sick and spent the day in bed, which meant I had a day on my own and also got the daily budget of £35 to myself. I don't want to wish Luke unwell but this was a treat!

First, I booked myself into a private yoga class for 400 rps (£4) with a man who had a roof terrace across the road from our hotel (possibly called Greenhill) and then had an Ayurvedic massage (800rps). Ayurveda is the ancient science of Indian herbal medicine and healing and, while I don’t really buy into it being a viable healing tool, the massages can be relaxing.

Getting a massage in India is a hit or miss experience. Firstly, I was shocked by the “all off” policy when it comes to underwear – surprising for such a prudish nation. Then, once it is “all off”, they aren’t backwards in coming forwards with the touching in quite intimate areas.

In Kumily, I also got put (naked) into a wooden steam box with just my head poking out. This humiliation was furthered by Gina (my masseuse) staring at me for 10 minutes and telling me that I’m “very beautiful”. As beautiful as a head poking out of a box can be.

Clearly this isn't me, but you get the idea...

Luke also had a funny incident in Varkala when he had a massage and afterwards was told to “relax” by the masseuse who then went for a very audible wee in the adjoining toilet!

If you ever find yourself in Kumily then it’s definitely worth spending sunset on one of the rooftops. At around 6.30pm every night, over 5,000 Flying Fox bats fly over en-masse from one side of the town to the other. I don’t know where they’re going or why, but the silent flying overhead makes for an atmospheric and slightly spooky sight.

Bats flying over Kumily.

USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT KUMILY/PERIYAR WILDLIFE PARK:

Accommodation: We stayed at Green View Homestay on Bypass Road. Our room was 500 rps (£5) a night but there are rooms that are more expensive and it will be dearer in high season.

Eating and drinking: The cheapest places we found were the French Bakery and Coffee Garden which both did okay Indian and western food from 150 rps a dish. Chrissie’s also did nice Israeli food. As a whole we found the food in Kumily to be overpriced and quite bland.

Getting there and away: We got two government buses from Alleppey – the first to Kottyam (1 ½ hours, 60 rps) and then a second one from there to Kumily (4 ½ hours, 100 rps). The roads are windy and there’s lots of dangerous overtaking.

To get out to Cochin (for Fort Cochin) we got a government bus from the main stand in Kumily for about 120 rps. It's meant to take 5 hours but our bus took 8 - check it's direct before you get on it!

Trekking: All of the tours are a set price in Periyar and you book through the main office on Thekkady Road. Our day trek cost 1,500 rps each plus 300 rps each entry into the park. You can do 3-hour treks for less. There are touts about but it’s easier to go to the main office and book yourself.

Cruising the Keralan backwaters

When people think of Kerala, I think they conjure up images of the lush green lakes and lagoons of the backwaters. And, after enjoying a day trip of the backwaters in Varkala, we decided to indulge in an overnight trip on a traditional thatched roofed ketteuvallam, or houseboat.

The well-trodden tourist route into the backwaters is from the town of Alleppey, which has been generously named the “Venice of the East”. I’ve never been to Venice but Luke has and he says that it’s like Venice in that “it has canals”. I suspect it’s in the same way that Nottingham’s a bit like Venice, as in, not very.

Our daily budget while in India is £35 between us, and 22-hour houseboat tours, on average, cost £65 (6,500 rps). We got our best bargaining faces on and managed to find somewhere that did one for £55 (5,500 rps). However, once we saw the boat we realised that it was significantly smaller and older than the other boats on the water. But I think that what it lacked in glamour, it made up for in character.

The crew/chefs/waiters/entertainment came in the form of The Captain and Dija who were a bit like the Chuckle Brothers of India. Me and Luke certainly seem to be drawn to these kind of people.

The Captain and Luke get closely acquainted.

The boat had a tiny little bedroom with adjacent shower cum toilet (as in you have to sit on the toilet in order to shower), a shaded viewing area complete with mismatched furniture, a sunny viewing area up top with plastic garden chairs and a rickety kitchen outback. All very Miami Vice, I'm sure you'll agree.

Come see my little boat.

The little bedroom in our little boat. The bed was about as comfortable as sleeping on a table.

There are 2000 houseboats in Alleppey - some with up to five bedrooms and plasma TVs, I even saw a towel swan on one bed. As they glided past at speed, we chugged along the river at a nice enough pace to be able to take in the sights.

Fishing boat on the backwaters. The chap at the back has embraced the umbrella hat.

The backwaters themselves are not the idyll I believe people hope them to be. Although there are tiny riverside huts with women out the front doing their washing and wooden fishing boats gliding along, there are also people on mobile phones and music blaring out – this is 21^st Century India after all. A lot of the "huts" are more like mini houses, with many being pristine and modern looking.

Smart little house on the Keralan backwaters.

My favourite part of the day was when we moored up for lunch and had a swim in the river to cool off. We were assured by The Captain that there are no crocodiles or snakes in there but when something bit my bum I made a swift exit! (I think it was just a little fish.)

Swimming in the backwaters - do so at your own peril.

After lunch, The Captain and Dija seemed to make it their aim/obsession to get Luke to do some fishing. Luke, who loves animals but is very obedient, obliged. Thankfully he's a crap fisherman and didn't catch anything. It made me love him a little bit more when he said afterwards: "I'm quite pleased. I'm not sure what I'd have done if I caught one - I don't think they'd have let me put it back."

Dija (left) and Luke (right) take a power nap after fishing.

Just before sunset we went through a narrower part of the backwaters and saw some of the more "iconic backwaters" sights of the day. There were little children cycling home from school on over-sized bicycles, people praying at tiny temples on the side of the river and families rowing up and down past our little houseboat. The larger, fancier houseboats are too big to fit though these smaller channels, which made us feel a bit smug.

A pretty view along the narrower part of the backwaters.

At night we moored up in a very unscenic area under a massive bridge which is just ½ kilometre outside of Alleppey. Lots of other boats were nearby and, as soon as they got an electricity source (plugged into the nearby houses) they turned on their MASSIVE televisions and blasted Bhangra music and Bollywood movies into our tranquility. Getting away from it all indeed.

When we went to bed, Dija and The Captain bedded down in the area directly outside our room (which was romantic) and I think Dija kept falling off his very narrow bed as about five times in the night we heard the loud thud and clatter of him falling onto the coffee table (again, really romantic!). I think he may have been a bit merry after doing a beer run for us earlier in the evening.

Overall I enjoyed the houseboat experience but I think I may have been disappointed if I’d had high expectations. India is progressing at such a massive rate that somewhere like the Keralan backwaters, which receives a huge number of visitors and therefore money, is never going to freeze in time.

Don't go to the backwaters expecting idyllic India and you won't be disappointed.

USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT ALLEPPEY/ KERALA HOUSEBOAT TOURS:

Accommodation: In Alleppey we stayed at an unnamed guest house opposite Palmy Residency which was perfectly nice, if a little expensive for us at 900 rps (£9) per night.

Eating and drinking: The food on the houseboat was actually really tasty and generously portioned. It was quite spicy though, so say if you want it mild.

In Alleppey we ate at Thaff and Hotel Sisar, both on YMCA Road and both tasty and, more importantly after splashing out on the boat trip, cheap.

Getting there and away: From Varkala we got a second sitting on a sleeper train for (I think) 160 rps. It takes 2 ½ hours and the station is called Alappuzha, not Alleppey.

To get to Kumily (for Periyar) we got a bus from KSRTC Bus Station in Alleppey to Kottyam (1 ½ hours, 70rps) and then got straight onto another government bus to Kumily (4 ½ hours, 100rps). The road up to Kumily is scenic but quite hairy.

Houseboat: We booked through Venice Cast Away on KSRTC Road, purely because they gave us the best price. It was 5,500 rps (£55) for one day and night (11am to 9am the next day) and included vegetarian food, non-alcoholic drinks and air conditioning.

Surfing in Varkala, Kerala

Unspoiled Edava beach.

I think it’s testament to Varkala’s charm that we planned to stay for five nights and ended up staying for two weeks. This made me wonder whether, although we call ourselves travellers, we may well be settlers after all.

Our first full day there was Luke’s 30^th birthday, so the night before I had to dash out in a panic to find him a few presents in the limited range of shops. I got him a sarong (he was always borrowing mine to put on his head) and a little drum, which I may regret. Then I came across a French guy called Simon who runs Tata Surf School and I decided to sign accident-prone Luke up for a surf lesson or two (sorry to his mum, but I promise he didn’t break anything).

Kerala is best known for its beautiful backwaters but Varkala beach has huge, crazy waves to the point where you can be in at knee height and still get thrown over. We went with Simon to nearby Edava beach which is a fishermans’ beach but you can catch a good wave there. The fishermen used to work from Varkala beach but got moved on when it became touristy, so it’s important to their livelihood that this doesn’t happen again.

Luke was a skateboarder in his youth, so he was a natural and managed to stand up in his first lesson. I, on the other hand, was a bit more of a challenge. I have surfed before – only last January in Newquay – but the crazy waves of Varkala are on another level. It took all of my effort to just get the board out far enough, on my way in I kept getting thrown over and washed back to shore.

Luke catching a wave on Edava beach, Kerala.

Thankfully Simon was patient teacher and towards the end of the lesson I was managing a crouching stand but, as he kept saying, I needed to TURN MY HIPS! A great moment came when Simon paddled the wave on the back of my board and steadied it before telling me to stand just at the right moment – I then made it to shore on the board and on my feet. That's kind of surfing, right?

Simon lives in Varkala for five months of the year where he runs the surf school from Amantha Restaurant which turned into our home away from home. It’s run by a lovely family – mum Amantha, dad Nars and son Munet – who churn out tasty homecooked food served to the background of reggae beats. Every morning we’d go down there to get muesli served by a sleepy Nars who always made me smile. Also, their vegetarian thali served on a banana leaf was a tonic after a morning of surfing.

Munet, Simon and Luke (look, he's bought a vest).

Amantha and Nars.

Another reason we stayed in Varkala so long was because we met up with our friends Danni and Katie, who were there for a bit of a health and wellbeing break at the swish Soul and Surf. We spent New Year’s Eve together at a crazy little party at the Chillout Lounge which was playing a fun mix of western and Bhangra music. My only gripe would be that pre-midnight the drinks were 150rps, then just before midnight they went up to 250rps and as midnight struck they jumped to 300rps – typical Indian opportunism.

Danni, Luke and me getting a bit merry on NYE.

As well as a lot of lazing on the beach, we also did a boat tour of the backwaters with Danni and Katie which was a ridiculously relaxing day spent ambling up and down the lush green backwaters. The house boats are traditionally made with thatched roofs over wooden hulls and are pretty slow – I think we covered about 4k in eight hours.

Pretty views from the houseboat on the backwaters near Varkala.

Our guide for the day was a character called Murali who drove up in a lovely white Ambassador car and ferried us to and from the houseboat in a little speedboat. His wife cooked us a lovely lunch of South Indian cuisine and, although tasty, the lunch is memorable in the fact it was the first meal we ate with our hands. In India most people don’t use utensils and instead use their right hand, the left is saved for dirty things...such a wiping your bum! I’d managed to avoid the dreaded hand-eating thus far, but Murali insisted we eat with our hands and, I suspect, got a kick out of seeing it. Luke struggled because of the limited mobility he has in his right wrist (he broke it a few years ago) but Murali didn’t understand and at one point was force-feeding Luke with his own hand! I’m glad I tried it but I don’t think it’s an experience I’ll be repeating – too messy.

Lunch on Golden Island. This is us happily smiling before our hands got involved.

Varkala was also where I had my first visit to an Indian hospital. I thought I had water in my ears but, after six days of not being able to hear properly, I started to worry it could be more serious. I went to Mission Hospital and registered for 20 rupees (20p) and paid a 100rps (£1) consultation fee. I then waited 15 minutes before I saw a very nice doctor who looked in my ears before exclaiming: “They’re full of wax!” He swiftly started extracting it using a sucker thing and kindly showed me any large chunks he got out. Luke was watching and I think now loves me a little bit less. I paid him 300 rps (£3) for the treatment and 24 rps (24p) for some tablets and drops. I have to say that the Indian hospital system was surprisingly swift, cheap, and effective.

We’ve been travelling for six weeks so I thought I’d write a list of things we’re beginning to miss – it’s an eclectic mix.

1. Friends and family (of course).

2. Sunday dinner.

3. Marmite (me).

4. Football (Luke).

5. A good cup of tea – Indian chai is milky and sickly sweet.

6. Full-length mirrors. God knows what we look like half the time.

7. Washing machines. We’re handwashing everything and it’s starting to show.

8. Brushing my hair. I lost my hairbrush two weeks ago and, again, it’s starting to show.

9. Not speaking in Pidgin English – I’m even starting to speak to Luke like he’s a child.

10. Not work. Hahaha!!

USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT VARKALA

Surf lessons: Surfing is a relatively new phenomena in Kerala so there aren't loads of schools. Simon runs Tata Surf School from Amantha Restaurant set back a short way from North Cliff, in between Akhil Hotel and Nikhil Hotel. For a three-four hour lesson it’s 1,700rps (£17) each and he doesn’t take more than three people a time.Call (+91) 9895219157 or 8129356239 or search Tata Surf on Facebook.

Getting there and away: We flew from Bangalore Airport to Trivandrum International Airport with Indigo and paid approx 8,000 rps (£80) each. From there we got a taxi (300rps) to Trivandrum KSRTC Bus Station and got a bus to Varkala beach (1 ½ hours, 100 rps, so £1). To get away we caught a sleeper class train from Varkala Train Station to Alleppey, also know as Allepuhza (2 ½ hours, 80prs).

Accommodation: We scoured the North Cliff area to find the cheapest place for NYE (most places wanted 1,200rps minimum) and managed to find a small place called Ananthalekshmi which only wanted 600rps. It’s clean and basic and unfortunately not online – to find it ask to go to Shiva Garden and it’s bang opposite.

Eating and drinking: It’s got to be Amanatha Restaurant in North Cliff, one road back from the main beach road. It’s cheap (a thali costs 100rps), tasty and friendly. We also liked Little Tibet and Abba (good for western food) on the main beach road.

Houseboat: We paid 6,500rps (£65) for the day including lunch and had the boat to ourselves. Murali's number is (+91) 9746968794.

A Hampi Christmas

A typical Christmas day scene in Hampi.

For some reason I always had it in mind that we'd spend Christmas in Hampi and I'm glad we made that decision. While everyone else in India was hot-footing it to party in Goa, we managed to have a chilled festive season in Hampi with a bunch of Indians and Israelis - none of whom could give two hoots about the birth of Christ (although, truthfully, do many people in the UK care about the birth of Christ anymore?).

So, Christmas day involved getting up and hopping on our moped for a swim in the nearby Sanapur Reservoir. Which all sounds very idyllic until you see this sign not 10ft away from said reservoir...

After chatting to a few locals who said: "No, no crocodiles in lake!" but with a bit of a knowing grin on their faces, we decided to go in up to about our knees, with a plan to run if there was any sign of a croc. Not so relaxing after all.

We then had a traditional Christmas breakfast of muesli and fruit at our favourite Hampi cafe restaurant,  Laughing Buddha, and spent the rest of the morning reading while appreciating the amazing view.

The view from Laughing Buddha in Hampi.

For lunch it was a traditional Christmas veg biryani and in the evening we had a few Kingfishers and a salad. So it's easy to say it wasn't the most Christmassy Christmas we've ever had but it made a very refreshing change to the sometimes fraught season in the western world. Some people may
 be shocked (and even disgusted) to hear that we didn't even bother getting each other presents.

Without knowing it, choosing to stay in Hampi turned out to be a stroke of genius on our part. It was actually quieter than usual (people seem to gravitate to the coast at this time of year) so there were bargains to be had with accommodation and the food and drink prices were normal.

Hampi is a beautiful place and the best way to see it is on a moped (or a bicycle if you aren't as lazy as us). The landscape is how you imagine Bedrock in The Flintstones if it came to life, with massive boulders all balancing on top of each other and a pretty river running through a valley. This is all then topped off by amazing ruins at every turn from when Hampi was known as Vijayanagara, the former capital of the Vijayanagara Empire. We actually spent hours just taking in the scenery from the moped while driving through the paddy fields.

On Christmas day we watched the sunset from the Hanuman Temple, better known as the Monkey Temple, and encountered some of the naughtiest monkeys of our trip so far. We honestly saw one run up to a couple sitting on the edge of the cliff and try to steal a water bottle out of the man's hands. When he tugged it back the monkey pushed him (presumably hoping he'd drop off the cliff altogether), then bit him and grabbed the water bottle before unscrewing the cap (yes, a monkey UNSCREWED a cap) and started drinking out of  the bottle like a human. And here's the photo to prove it.

The monkey taking a refreshing break after trying to push this man of a cliff. No joke.

We also witnessed a monkey thief who ran up to a woman, grabbed her handbag and then bounded up the side of the temple and proceeded to pick through the contents, tearing open the bag with its teeth, before trying to eat everything from a plastic necklace to her mobile phone. Shocking, right?

Naughty handbag thief monkey examines his loot.

If you ever go to Hampi then beware of the red-faced monkeys, it seems to be where all of the convict monkeys are sent.

We also encountered a shoe thief, although I don't think they were stolen by a monkey. On Christmas day Luke left his new Converse, and more to the point comfortable, flip flops outside a restaurant (as is common practice in India) and when we came out all that was left was a scruffy, clumpy pair of "no name" flip flops conveniently in his size. A large group of Indian "lads on tour" had left just a few minutes before and I was ready to spend the evening hunting them down but Luke, being Luke, was much calmer about the whole thing.

Overall we really loved Hampi, especially because we got to ride a moped (150rps per day plus 100rps per litre for petrol) and didn't need to rely on tuk-tuk drivers who, we are beginning to realise, add extra stress to every day!

I got so excited about the moped that I did the peace sign.

To get from one side of the river to the other we had to go on a tiny boat designed for about eight people, but they carried six mopeds and about 30 people. We were told there used to be a bridge but three years ago it collapsed killing ten people - it's safe to say that health and safety isn't India's strong point.

Mopeds queuing to get on a tiny, wooden boat in Hampi.

Because Hampi is a touristy place where Indians visit, we got asked to be in a lot of photos with people - they seem to love having photos with westerners, a bit like we're aliens! In the spirit of things, we've started to ask to have our own in return - the results are quite funny.

USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT HAMPI

Accommodation: We stayed at Murali's Guest House on the other side of the river in Virupapur Gadde. Although this isn't near all of the main ruins, it's a lot more relaxed (you can easily get a beer) and there are lots of lovely cycle rides through the paddy fields. I think it's more suited for backpackers. We paid 800rps (8GBP) per night but actually I think you can get a nicer place cheaper. We looked at one almost immediately to the right when you get off the boat (called Teja Guest House) which had lovely huts for 500rps a night and not so lovely cell-like rooms for 250rps.
Food and drink: On the Virupapur Gadde side we loved Laughing Buddha for the amazing views and chilled vibe.
Getting there and away: From Hyderabad we got a night train to Hospet and then took a tuk-tuk the 14kms to Hampi Bazaar (approx 150rps in the daytime and 250rps at night), we then got the boat over to the other side for 10rps - but note it starts at 6am and stops at 6pm at night. If you want to get your moped over the river then you need to get the boat at Anagunde village (the bike is an extra 10rps).
To get away from Hampi we got a tuk-tuk to Hospet and then a private sleeper bus to Bangalore through SRS Travel which was approx 550rps each.