Beach life: Gokarna & Palolem

Palolem beach makes you happy. Fact.

Although it's fun to go from one place to the next and always be on the move to somewhere new, sometimes it's nice to have a break and head to the beach. A holiday from travelling, if you like!

After sweltering in humid Fort Kochin, we decided to head to the beach town of Gokarna in Karnataka state. I think most people know that the state of Goa has some of the best beaches in India but Om Beach in Gokarna, which is really just a few miles up the road from Goa, is a popular place for backpackers to go to avoid to crowds of Goa. There are a few shacks to sleep in and a fair few restaurants but no resorts. Basically how Goa was 30, or more, years ago.

Om beach in Gokarna, India.

While there's no denying that Om Beach is unspoiled, we just didn't warm to it.

The first thing we didn't like was the sheer amount of people stalking up and down the beach selling jewellery. While I completely understand that everyone has got to make a living, the hawker-to-tourist ratio was completely off balance here which meant we were being approached every five or ten minutes - there are only so many ways you can say: "No thank you, I don't wear (crappy) jewellery," before getting annoyed.

A jewellery seller tried his luck, even while taking a break.

Then after hawkers along came the gawkers. Om Beach seemed to attract large groups of Indian men who unfortunately didn't seem to be able to stop their eyes from wandering over to the women in bikinis. They'd often stop to have a good old stare, then get their phone out to take a photo and then stare some more. It was especially intimidating if I was on the beach alone and a gang came past and lingered over me.

One afternoon, there was a gang of men in the water who all came running out when I walked past and asked me if they could take a photo of me. I politely said no as I have a policy to say no to groups of men, especially if I'm on my own. I then carried on walking and felt a thud on my back and realised they'd thrown wet sand at me. The red mist then descended. I whipped round and shouted: "Who did that?"

All I got in response were big, innocent eyes. So I carried on, finger wagging.

"You DO NOT do that - it's so rude. Stop acting like children!" And with that I stalked off down the beach.

In my opinion some Indian men need to spend more time with women and then they might realise that we're humans and not animals. At times their attitude is deplorable and downright disgusting. As it is, many of them get to hang around in all male gangs and they feed off each others immature views of women, especially western women.

Once you'd got over the hawkers and the gawkers, it was then time to contend with the groups of cows who indiscriminately wander over and trample over everything while you were sunbathing.

Luke shooing a cow away before it tramples on all of our stuff.

If all of that's not enough, then you had the westerners who were obviously "get away from it all, man" - which seemed to involve wearing homemade loin cloths and nothing else, growing a beard and taking copious amounts of drugs.

We called them Jesus Creepers and on the whole they seemed harmless, but one particular young lad seemed to be slowly losing it. He only looked at 20 years old and he was spending his days smoking weed and his nights apparently taking ketamine and the rest of his time having a chat to himself. Every day I woke up expecting to find out he'd been found dead on the beach, which thankfully didn't happen. Call me a granny but his whole situation made me nervous.

So, after four days in the flawed paradise of Gokarna, we decided to leave and head up to Palolem in Goa. We went there three years ago and knew we liked it.

On the train there we got chatting to a young Swedish girl who'd been on Om Beach (and loved it) and was heading up to Goa to meet some friends before heading back there for a few more weeks. She asked us where we were going and when we said Palolem she her nose turned up and she said: "Why? My friends went there a few years ago and they said it's really resorty and there's loads of people on holiday there so it's really expensive," saying resorty and holiday like they're swear words.

I hate this kind of attitude from backpackers - like holiday makers are evil. The only difference between backpackers and holiday makers is that people on holiday have lots of money but not much time and backpackers have lots of time but not much money. A lot of backpackers seem to think they're superior because they have the luxury of being able to leave their job and responsibilities.

So, in honour of the snotty Swedish girl who didn't understand why the hell we'd want to go to "resorty" Palolem with all of those people on their holidays, here's a photo blog to show why Palolem is pretty close to paradise.

This is home for the week:

You get a free beach dog with every sun lounger.

(Look very carefully.)

This is breakfast:

My mate Marmite.

They sell red wine. And it tastes nice.

I didn't stop after just the one...

You can go dolphin spotting on a kayak. We saw a whole pod.

And finally, the sunsets are completely captivating...

USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT GOKARNA AND PALOLEM:

Accommodation: In Gokarna we stayed at Cafe Namaste for 800rps (£8) a night and it was by far the nicest place on the beach. You get cell-like rooms for as cheap as 200rps (£2).
In Palolem we stayed at Abel Cressida Coco Huts for 700rps (£7) a night which were really nice for the price.
Eating and drinking: In Gokarna we mainly ate at Cafe Namaste and the food was quite tasty.
In Palolem during the daytime we ate at Abel Cressida as this entitled us to use the loungers for free. The super breakfast of Marmite and proper tea was at Cozy Nook and the red wine came with lovely tapas that we got in a restaurant that's attached to Ciaran's. All of those places are along the beach front.